He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
