so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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