Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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