i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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