We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
