Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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