Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
