Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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