I think my fart just growled at me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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