You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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