I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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