No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
