just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm both gender and math confused
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize