1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
