Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
