Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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