how hairy? two words: wookie tits
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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