What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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