i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want to have your abortion
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
