Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
