need another drink. this is the easiest way
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize