It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
