Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How is your vagina???

  (941): View more from Florida

  Double booked

  (646): View more from New York

  With your butt?

  (941): View more from Florida

  Totes, candlesticks and all

  (646): View more from New York

  Yay!!

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  (646): How is your vagina??? (941): Double booked (646): With your butt? (941): Totes, candlesticks and all (646): Yay!! http://tfl.nu/9v3z
  Replies (4) Good night (2033) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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  (949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1
  Replies (35) Good night (705) Bad night (5039)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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  (815): I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too. http://tfl.nu/hrck
  Replies (26) Good night (4589) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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  (219): so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night. http://tfl.nu/edgl
  Replies (15) Good night (4325) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

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  (847): At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face. http://tfl.nu/zq8n
  Replies (73) Good night (1274) Bad night (8108)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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  (972): The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way http://tfl.nu/ldbl
  Replies (22) Good night (5275) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Tornado warnings are fun!

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  (254): Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows. (254): Tornado warnings are fun! http://tfl.nu/9sqb
  Replies (13) Good night (3355) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.

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  (415): I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food. http://tfl.nu/ruld
  Replies (6) Good night (2236) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4624) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.

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  (650): It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag. http://tfl.nu/hxfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1318) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

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  (845): Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/8d0r
  Replies (8) Good night (1424) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did

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  (509): So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did http://tfl.nu/hjy4
  Replies (2) Good night (1400) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick

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  (615): omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick http://tfl.nu/o4c5
  Replies (10) Good night (690) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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  (613): I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this. (647): Hey, I'm your guy http://tfl.nu/p6u8
  Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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  (609): i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid http://tfl.nu/4631
  Replies (3) Good night (281) Bad night (689)

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