there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ugly people sure do ruin things
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
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It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.