it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home