Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

3.50 mugs at the bar.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

(512): View more from Texas

How ugly, and does she have friends?

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(512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends? http://tfl.nu/peow

Replies (40) Good night (659) Bad night (1092)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92

Replies (33) Good night (796) Bad night (5467)
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(585): View more from New York

Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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(585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o

Replies (27) Good night (644) Bad night (12906)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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(832): She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face http://tfl.nu/40gf

Replies (23) Good night (1021) Bad night (4477)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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(201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09

Replies (23) Good night (11581) Bad night (967)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

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(708): Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected. http://tfl.nu/ilck

Replies (53) Good night (1233) Bad night (10755)
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(805): View more from California

there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you

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(805): there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you http://tfl.nu/cq33

Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (2704)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...

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(978): Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die... http://tfl.nu/7pmw

Replies (10) Good night (3114) Bad night (1092)
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(801): View more from Utah

I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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(801): I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl. http://tfl.nu/k0v0

Replies (18) Good night (888) Bad night (4552)
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(519): View more from Ontario

No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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(519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (1499)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3

Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (623)
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(830): View more from Texas

You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.

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(830): You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations. http://tfl.nu/eber

Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (425)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.

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(717): Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards. http://tfl.nu/kyyg

Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (277)
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(775): View more from Nevada

This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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(775): This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat" http://tfl.nu/i7x4

Replies (6) Good night (674) Bad night (667)
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(516): View more from New York

Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

(1-516): View more from New York

You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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(516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb

Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (254)

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