what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something