Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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