Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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