sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
BRING THE BAGELS
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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