Dude my mom stole all your condoms
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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