I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
