Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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