my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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