Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
