hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
