Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
handjob tips. give me some.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
