2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
