So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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