What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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