FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
