i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
