Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
