At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
