Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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