you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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