yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
