Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
