I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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