It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
