your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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