Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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