it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
