my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.