Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
