we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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