I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
