I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize