I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
