you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
