So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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