We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
