you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
