How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
