Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
