you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
